getting ready for the summer

i have already started making plans for this coming summer. ideally, i would go to nyc, work, enjoy the city and maybe go back to bulgaria for a little while. i talked to lovely miss jezabelle about her coming to visit me there and before we knew it, we were all giggly and figuring out the details of her trip. man, it would be awesome! i've been very frustrated lately about what i want to do after i graduate from here...but i've relaxed a bit in the last week or so. it seems that things always somehow manage to work out and i've promised myself i would never worry about stupid shit again. ever.

the weekend was good. lots of drinking and other things involved. sewanee is so beautiful in the spring...i spent my whole afternoon yesterday reading a book on the front porch of stirling's coffeehouse, loving the sun, my kim superlights, and espresso. i don't remember the last time i'd felt so much at peace with myself.

Olivia saves the circus

A couple of months ago I came across my first Olivia book when I was browsing through the children's books section in my university's bookstore. I fell in love with the little pig right away. She is cute, and sassy, and self-confident...just like me when I was six. It turns out later that it's not just me who felt this way: Ian Falconer has beacome one of the best-selling children's books authors of 2001. I was even more pleased when his second book, Olivia Saves the Circus came out: it's just as charming as the first one! Now not only that I have both books and read them all the time, but I also got that live-size cardboard poster of her to keep in my room.



i know i'm getting a little carried away...i'm turning into one of those psycho celebrity fans...who knows...but at least she is cute as hell...

Small world

It's funny how small the world is...and how things happen just like that...out of the blue...and then suddenly everything starts making sense and you stop fussing about silly things and you smile to strangers and are good to yourself. No, I'm not in love. Somebody else is. And i am just very very happy for him and hopeful that some day it will happen to me too.

I've got good things going on in my life too. I talk to people that make me laugh so hard that tears start running down my cheeks. They give me ideas. They share secrets with me. Make me tea at 22.30 every night because that's the time of the day when I usually start feeling tired. They find it 'cute' that I often say fingers instead of toes and vice versa...No, I'm not in love. And no, I am not talking about a specific person here. I just feel loved.

I promised Shawn I would add an about section and post more photos of myself. I think he just got a bit carried away when I told him I had taken pictures of myself...Natasha Merritt type of pictures...not that bold tho...

And one last thing...if you are reading this...PLEASE...drop me a line...

Running errands

I've been so busy in the last couple of days but I still feel like I've been running errands all the time: I'm always doing something which seems important at the time but when I look back on my day...I haven't accomplished anything. I've done some reading for my polsci class and I've somehow managed to update this almost every day, but I still have so much to do...

I just realized how much I've been complaining lately...about all sorts of things. It's either too cold or too hot. I'm either tired or too hyper. I smoke too much. I don't read enough. I don't get anything done. I lose things. I forget things. I don't keep my promises. Is it healthy to fret so much about stuff? I mean...seriously...how important is any of these going to be a couple of weeks from now?

On a brighter note: I saw moulin rouge last night and I think I liked it. It was so lush and beautiful...and Nicole Kidman was oh! so gorgeous! I totally loved the mass dance scenes, and the sets...made me think about going to Paris in the summer...

Bunk beds

My two neighbors decided to bunk their beds last night in order to have a bit more space in their tiny room. I did not realize what a big advantage that was until this morning i was awaken by a loud stomp. It turns out later that Brooke [the girl who's at the top] jumped off her bed...which was wonderful since I had forgotten to set my alarm the night before. Heehee. You get excited about all sorts of silly things when you're so busy that you have time to have any real fun.

I talked to Cia today and she said she likes this new design but misses the bighead. so i was thinking that maybe i should do a weekly bighead cartoon or something. I definitely can't start a daily thing. Or at least not yet. I miss drawing, that's for sure, so I might as well do something to change that.

I also had a lovely conversation with someone I've been missing a lot lately. So...life's good again...

Culture shocked

I went to West Point for a conference last november and hung out with fun kids from all over the world. We talked about politics a lot (we were there for the 53rd annual student conference on united states affairs), listened to lots of interesting speakers and attended a rediculous number of balls and receptions. At one of those balls I met Takayoshi and totally freaked him out when tried to kiss him goodnight.



Man, the guy had no idea why I would do that! Every time I think about this I laugh so hard that my stomach hurts, but I don't even want to imagine how terrified he must have been. They should teach them a bit more about drunk Eastern Europeans in the National Defense Academy of Japan.

Is it getting better, or does it feel the same?

I've been going back and forth trying to figure out what I wants. And the problem is that there are too many options. Well...yeah...if that could be considered a problem. Things are so much easier in Bulgaria. You don't have that many choices but you know that and you make the best of the little opportunities you have. But here...no, no, no...you need to dream, and plan, and "network", and explore, and plan, and work hard, and...you are still not exactly sure if you are doing the right thing. To make things even worse, they keep on telling you that there's no right or wrong decision. It's up to you if you are going to make the most of it. It'd be great if you did, but it's fine if you don't, because you are only 20 and it's perfectly fine to make mistakes. Well...I've had enough of that and I'm seriously considering flipping a coin!

Don't you worry, bighead

Things always work out at the end, no matter what. It's all scary and frustrating right now, but it's all going to be alright. Just calm down, breath in and relax. My head is getting bigger because of all the thinking I've done lately and it hurts sometimes. But that's ok. It's ok. Ok?