eerr...happy?!

Tricia and I seem to have established a little ritual of ours. Every Thursday, after she gets out of her Social Movements seminar, she comes over and we shoot the breeze for a couple of hours. We like the fact that it's already become a tradition of sorts. We, graduate students, like to have order in our lives. It gives us a sense of accomplishment or (false) productivity.

So, we were sitting on the couch today, being our usual cynical selves, when Geo called me on the phone. Turns out she hadn't really heard me speak Bulgarian before.

'You sound different in Bulgarian', she said.

'Oh, really? Different how?', I asked

'Err...happy?...'

Being far away from home gets harder every day.

no sound

You know how sometimes you are so sad and angry and helpless, you can almost feel the pain steaming out of you. And all you want to do is scream but no sound comes out of your month. And you really try to fight it but that only makes it worse so all you're left with is crying yourself to sleep. That's how I feel right now and for some reason I really wanted to share that with you. Good night, strangers.

pretty well-adjusted

Last night I dreamt that it was my first day at Harvard Law School and I was late and as I was trying to get to my seat I felt compelled to call this guy a bastard and then the professor turned to me and said, 'Looks like you are pretty well-adjusted!'. What the fuck?!

funny and sad

September 24, 2005; 12:58

Somebody asked one of my professors for how long he's been married. 15 years, he said. And proceeded to tell the following story about a conversation he and his wife had earlier this past week:

Professor's wife: Wow, I think I just had a deja-vu. I felt like we both have been in this very same situation before.

Professor: Honey, it's 8 o'clock in the morning and you're asking me to get out of the bathroom. It's not deja-vu. It's called REPETITION.

Funny and sad.

Michael Berube

Remember how a couple of days ago I was asking about your online crushes? Well, today...I MET ONE OF MINE!!!!!!!!!!! No, not really. Well, sort of.

I don't know how it is for you, but I personally get periodically addicted to specific blogs, read them religiously for about three weeks, and then forget about them. I don't think that's unusual. There's so much good writing out there, that it takes a tremendous effort (and skill) on the part of writers to secure a steady and ever-returning readership. Still, I think each one of us has a shorter version of their blogroll, which contains those 10 weblogs you keep returning to. Like, the first blog you read, EVER. Or the one that makes you laugh the most. Or the one that irritates you so much that if you met the blogger behind it in person, you would just HAVE to smack them.

Well, I have been reading Michael Berube's weblog for well over a year now. I don't even remember how I found it, in fact, I don't even think that matters. What does matter is that I do keep going back to it for it's given me more a-ha! moments than most of the other weblogs I read, combined. [Sorry]. And even though I've known that Michael teaches at Penn State all along, that never really registered until...

My friend Kanisha suggested that instead of doing work right before class, we should perhaps, maybe, possibly consider going out for a breath of fresh air and a cigarette, and, while we're at it, some coffee too. So we drag our tired, over-worked gradstudent asses to the Library cafe. As we are walking in, I see that there are three people sitting at a table in front of the cafe and one of them looks terribly familiar. I am positive I know the guy but..well, have no clue who he is, so I just keep going. As I walk out, it strikes me...it is Michael Fucking Berube!!! Seriously, he is the kind of blogger I would like to become! Holy fucking shit! What do I do?! Do I do anything? Wouldn't it be too freaky? Hi, I know this is weird, but I read your weblog and just wanted to say hi and that I'm a fan. Wait?! Did I just say that?!

I sure did. Basically, as I was trying to figure out whether I should say anything, I heard myself saying exactly what I thought would sound freaky. Yep. I acted like a total groupie and embarrassed myself, IN PUBLIC! Ironically, I had just told Kanisha earlier in the day that I do not mind humiliating myself in public. I keep a weblog, for god's sake!

Michael Berube seemed quite surprised but was still uber-cool about it. And his friends found the whole situation terribly interesting. Honestly, my blood rushed so fast to my head that I am not sure I remember exactly what he said, but I do recall his female friend kept saying, Oh my god! That's just so great! So great! So great!...

You know what I'm thinking right now? Oh my god! That's just so great! So great! So great!...The difference between her and I? Well, I feel like it's necessary to keep throwing in fuck's and shit's for good measure. After all, that's what us, groupies, do.