Quitting smoking, my way

So remember how several days ago I was saying that for every little thing that might be taking place in your life, there's already a song line that describes it perfectly? Well, this quitting business is a motherfucker but I'm sticking with it and I'm making progress and I'm doing it MY WAY (Thank you, Prof. Carter for reminding me of a certain Sinatra song to hum along as I bite my lips and battle abstinence).

As you can probably imagine, coming home drunk after Kanisha's birthday party on Monday did not work to my advantage. I was buzzing and antsy and, of course, lit up. I felt such deep remorse after doing it that swore not to have more than one cigarette a day. Which is exactly what I did yesterday. I thought about smoking many many times throughout the day. Instead of smoking, however, I ate candy, drank water (thanks, Pete, it DOES help), and talked about it.

What surprises me the most is how easy it actually is to talk myself out of having a cigarette. I still want one, most of the time, especially in the morning when I have my first cup of coffee. However, it is relatively easy to focus on something else and trick myself into forgetting that I was THIS close to lighting up. Also, deciding to allow myself to have this one cigarette does not make me feel totally miserable. When I finally do smoke, I am actually surprised how little pleasure I get out of it. Which makes me feel pretty optimistic about the whole quitting business.

All that being said, I must admit that as I am sitting here on my balcony, waiting for Elena to come over for coffee...I find myself tapping my foot and hoping she'd show up sooner. Coffee, girl-talk and a cigarette out in the sun sounds pretty damn good right now.

P.S. Thank you all for being so supportive!!!!!