He Said, She Said: Toilet paper
There are some things in life that usually get a lot less credit than they deserve. Toilet paper is definitely one of them.
See, because you use it all the time and it usually works...it somehow remains unnoticed. But whether or not it's there and whether or not it actually works, does indeed make a HUGE difference. A few years ago, I got a chance to spend a day on a little island just off the coast of Jamaica. It was a pretty heavenly experience until I got my period and realized that I had forgotten to bring toilet paper and tampons. No need to get all technical, but dealing with the situation involved a series of broken-phone conversations at the pinnacle of which a four-year-old Jamaican kid pulled my skirt and started crying. So, yeah.
Toilet paper is not alone in this category. Other similarly unappreciated items include:
- staplers
- key-chains
- good office secretaries
- sharp enough pencil-sharpeners
- bags
It's not like you couldn't live without any of the above items. But they make your life so much easier, if they are just right. If they are, you go about your business as usual. If not, you simply want to kill yourself. I'm sure you know someone who buys the cheap, generic, one-layer kind of toilet paper. You go into their bathroom to do your thing, reach for your ass and , DAMN, is this poo on my hand?! Same thing with secretaries. If they are good, you do your job and inevitably end up wondering what in the world they are getting paid for. If they're bad, however, you can never find anything, you're always out of SOMETHING and you couldn't get anything done even if you tried.
So...I guess the moral of the story is that one should think about and appreciate those little things in life that make things easy and comfortable. Things like toilet paper, and good secretaries, and key chains.
P.S. By the way, ladies, did you know that guys do not wipe their thing when they go pee-pee?!!!!
***
And, of course, the HE-version of the story: Peio on toilet paper. In Bulgarian.
See, because you use it all the time and it usually works...it somehow remains unnoticed. But whether or not it's there and whether or not it actually works, does indeed make a HUGE difference. A few years ago, I got a chance to spend a day on a little island just off the coast of Jamaica. It was a pretty heavenly experience until I got my period and realized that I had forgotten to bring toilet paper and tampons. No need to get all technical, but dealing with the situation involved a series of broken-phone conversations at the pinnacle of which a four-year-old Jamaican kid pulled my skirt and started crying. So, yeah.
Toilet paper is not alone in this category. Other similarly unappreciated items include:
- staplers
- key-chains
- good office secretaries
- sharp enough pencil-sharpeners
- bags
It's not like you couldn't live without any of the above items. But they make your life so much easier, if they are just right. If they are, you go about your business as usual. If not, you simply want to kill yourself. I'm sure you know someone who buys the cheap, generic, one-layer kind of toilet paper. You go into their bathroom to do your thing, reach for your ass and , DAMN, is this poo on my hand?! Same thing with secretaries. If they are good, you do your job and inevitably end up wondering what in the world they are getting paid for. If they're bad, however, you can never find anything, you're always out of SOMETHING and you couldn't get anything done even if you tried.
So...I guess the moral of the story is that one should think about and appreciate those little things in life that make things easy and comfortable. Things like toilet paper, and good secretaries, and key chains.
P.S. By the way, ladies, did you know that guys do not wipe their thing when they go pee-pee?!!!!
***
And, of course, the HE-version of the story: Peio on toilet paper. In Bulgarian.
posted by petya at 5/04/2006 03:42:00 PM
12 Comments:
страхотни сте и двамата с Пейо. а този пост ме развесели доста. и се сетих (това го бях казвала в мой по-старичък пост), че ми е най-неприятно да купувам точно тоалетна хартия :)
Ами.. Виждам, че предния коментар към тази статия на английски е на български, за това и аз ще се престраша.
Та по въпроса за момченцата и за хигената след... В ислямските страни в далечния Изток (визирам конкретно Индонезия и Малайзия) писоарите са малко по-различни от тези, с които сме свикнали в Европа. Те имат едно допълнително малко чучурче, от което тече вода за измиване на "нещото" след употреба. Не че, поне според мен, е търсения сребърен куршум де, но все пак мисля е и нтересен детайл по темата.
Unloading at the porcelain terminal of the white-tile lab is definitely a an important activity of the everyday life. It requires privacy and proper equipment, e.g. toilet paper.
It took me quite some time to pick up my brand and kind of TP since it has always been important to hold in my hand a piece of white, scented, 4-layer TP. Now I that I have made my choice, my life seems a bit less complicated. The right toilet paper makes a good end of the solitary part of every day - after all everyone should pay the due respect to themselves and their asses.
And so, ladies and gentlemen - enjoy your shit. :D
P.S. As of the good secretary - OMG! Anyone with a bad secretary is a bad business man/woman.
Actually the best use for toilet paper is to TP someone's house.
lemon, супер много се радвам, че ти харесва. и ние (нали, пейо?) се забавляваме. големия чувал с тоалетната хартия като 'аксесоар' на малката хубава жена е класика просто! :) о! и благодаря, че писа на български.
даниел, добре дошъл тук. :) този детайл наистина е интересен. може да греша, но аз мисля, че съм чувала, че повечето мюсюлмански тоалетни са така. ти, между другото, от опит ли знаеш? използвал ли си? ;)
vanina: thanks for posting. from what i hear, you surely treat your b-u-t-t very well! just as everyone should. because we are trying to be semi-informative here, my gynecologist told me that scented hygene products, i.e. toilet paper, tampons, maxi-pads are BAD for your private parts. have no idea if it's true and don't really remember the reasons why but it seemed to make sense at the time.
nasko, have you done it? i haven't!!! i think it's a fine american tradition and i mind need to do it at least once before i go back home. :)
And you have heared, I guess, that some people instead of toilet paper use ... water.
I've got a funny story about that. When my little cousin was younger, hated toilet paper and he always insisted that his parents washed his butt after he went poo-poo. When he was 6, they sent him to summer camp. Poor thing, didn't go to the bathroom for two weeks because he couldn't bare the thought of wiping his ass. And of course, he would be very happy to know that I am telling the story here. ;)
Петя, добре заварила :)
Ами може да се каже, че говоря от опит - живях известно време в региона, така че съм виждал ;) Но не съм ползвал - някак странно ми изглежда...
Well done!
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