The things I did and don't do anymore

When I was in college, I used to draw pictures and take photographs. A LOT. I wanted to write and illustrate children's books. I planned to go to art school or make a living selling handmade greeting cards or something. Today, I spent a large portion of my day drawing up a business proposal for a major client of ours: budgets and service descriptions and all.

The interesting thing is...I've thought about THIS moment before. I've wondered whether and when I would remember the old version of me, what would make me think of it and how that would make me feel. For some reason, I always expected it'd make me cry or make me regret some of the choices I made.

But here I am today, remembering. What made me think of the old version of me was that in a cleaning spurt last night, I managed to delete all files I had kept from college with the exception of one folder containing drawings and photos I'd taken for my art classes.

I did cry for a while over the lost files. I cried until I was out of tears and my poor husband ran out of consolatory things to say. But, today, it doesn't feel that sad anymore. In fact, this whole thing feels sweet sweet sweet. I know it would probably sound a tiny bit corny, but losing those files and being reminded of the things I used to do and don't do anymore made me feel at peace. Yeah, there are things that are now forever gone and in the past and in my memory. But also, there's a whole lot of room for new stuff and new pictures and more stories. And, well, I may not be illustrating children's books but god knows that sometimes at work I do feel a bit like a babysitter. See, things are not all lost after all.

Do you often think of the things you used to do but don't do anymore? How does that make you feel? Sad? Nostalgic? Relieved?