bighead: where coffee, politics, and lipstick get equal consideration

The professor...

noreply@blogger.com (petya) — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 19:57:00 +0000

...He's a DOCTOR now!!!!!
Upon my mom's recommendation, I am getting myself a drink.

Almost...PhD

noreply@blogger.com (petya) — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 12:40:00 +0000

In a couple of hours Prof. Grady is about to stand in front of a committee and defend his dissertation.

Please wish him luck.

Very appropriate

noreply@blogger.com (petya) — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 17:50:00 +0000

I take public transportation to work. In Sofia, we've got these taxi/bus hybrids called marshrutki that you can flag down from anywhere on the street (like a taxi) but still have a dedicated route (like a public bus). It's quite convenient, actually. If you're lucky, you get the speed and comfort of a cab for the price of a regular public transport vehicle. If you aren't lucky...you feel like you've experienced the spin-cycle of a fairly advanced washer. It's basically a crapshoot, but what are you to do.

This morning as usual, I hail my marshrutka. It pulls over a bit far from me. Marshrutka drivers seem to like to make people run for the van...like, they really want you to show them that you want to get in their particular car and that you really mean it. I am wearing heels and running as fast as I can and as I am running, I reach for my wallet and take my money out, open the marshrutka door and jump in. We take off before I have managed to pull myself together but I throw my money at the driver, he hands me my change and as he is speeding away, I reach to place it back into my wallet. And my wallet is nowhere to be found. Fuck.

I ask the driver to pull over, run back to where I got on, get on all four and search the area. Don't find anything, except for an old PEZ despenser and a broken keychain. My wallet was officially gone. Together with it: my ID, debit cards, credit cards, a bunch of bandaids, family pictures and one of the very first love letters that I got from my husband. Fuck.

***

People at the office were very sweet and supportive. They've all gone through the whole "report-a-stolen-wallet" procedure here in Sofia and know that I've got quite an adventure coming my way...dealing with multiple administrative offices and what not...My boss felt so bad for me, she actually went and got me a little pink wallet with a cute sheep on it. Her card said, When you lose something, you never know if you're not winning at the same time. Totally adorable, I know.

When I told my sister about it, she said, That's very appropriate.

See...in Bulgaria, calling someone a sheep means you're saying they're dumb. Not too far from the truth, given the circumstances.

Too much information, but still...

noreply@blogger.com (petya) — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 10:05:00 +0000

My sister Ina lives in Bremen, so a lot of our conversations happen online. We talk about work and life and exchange music and gossip and laugh A LOT. Every time I talk to her, 20 minutes into the conversation, I end up needing to go to the bathroom. I am not making this up, I swear. We say hello-hello and start chatting and inevitably, 20 minutes in, I’m taking a poop-break.

Ina says that this happens because she helps me relax.

Muxtape

noreply@blogger.com (petya) — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 22:16:00 +0000

It's been a little while since I've drunk-blogged...but here I am...Back from an awesome wedding party and all I want to do is tell you all that I hope there's tons of love in your life and that that you should all check out Prof. Kirilov-Grady's Muxtape. Due to Jameson overload, I've only added one song to my own account.

Peace out.

If you are starting to think you hate your job...

noreply@blogger.com (petya) — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:27:00 +0000

It's been a hard week at the office for me. Nothing bad happened, to the contrar y. It was just hard. Lots of things to take care of, lots of people to talk to, lot's back-and-forth, lots of emails and pixels flying in all kinds of directions...Stress, stress, stress. I was complaining a tiny bit to my little sister who promptly alerted me to the following text:

When you have an 'I Hate My Job' day, try this...

On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal termometer made by Johnson & Johnson.

Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed. Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on the table or surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Now the fun part begins.

Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement: 'Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized.'

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, "I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson."

Have a Nice Day and Remember, There is Always someone else with a Job that is More of a Pain in the A$$ than Yours!

And now I'm smiling. Hope you are too.

***
via alvin, via LifeSupport

Life

noreply@blogger.com (petya) — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:48:00 +0000

Anne Lamott is one of my favorite writers of all time. She is wise and funny and neurotic. Just my kind of writer. In her book on parenting, Operating Instructions, she quotes her son Sam (age 7) saying:

I think I already understand about life: pretty good, some problems.

Which, strangely enough, is exactly how I feel about it. What's been life like for you these days? You've been awfully quiet and I miss you.

Good things recently

noreply@blogger.com (petya) — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 09:21:00 +0000

Because I know you are just pulling your hair out, trying to figure out what the hell's going on with me...here's what I've been up to these days:

1. Dinner parties with people that make you laugh so hard, your face starts to hurt. Leaving the party only to get a call 2 minutes later from one of our friends saying I don’t remember the last time I had so much fun.
2. Listening to music with my husband. Active. Listening. Sitting down and listening to tracks we thought we had forgotten and realizing some songs still bring tears to our eyes.
3. Packing to move to our own apartment. It’s small but it will be ours. Well, my parents’…but you know what I mean.
4. Running around Sofia, taking pictures with the Professor. Photo projects are HAAARRD.
5. Getting more email from people saying Hi, my partner is Bulgarian too. Dropping you a line to say hi… It’s because of emails like this that I love blogging.

I know it’s been a little bit quieter here and I know that some of you blame my other blog for that. But after some re-shuffling of commitments and priorities, I will be able to handle both. Hope you’ll stick around.

Spring Fever

noreply@blogger.com (petya) — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 21:59:00 +0000

n.
A feeling of restlessness, excitement, or laziness brought on by the coming of spring.

...in my case...it's pretty much ALL of the above.

***

via answers.com

Честита Баба Марта from the K-G's!

noreply@blogger.com (petya) — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 11:51:00 +0000

Copyright 2008 Kyle Grady

This year we outdid ourselves: got props, broke a camera and smashed a knee in the process of taking the photo. But hey, Baba Marta is our favorite Bulgarian holiday...So...no regrets.

Happy Baba Marta to you all!

Life lessons from 2007

noreply@blogger.com (petya) — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 14:54:00 +0000

I saw this at my new online friend Nicodile’s blog and loved the idea so much that decided to do it myself.

January: It's hard to live on two continents.
Ask my husband. For a couple of months there he had the longest commute ever. Sofia-Philly 7726 km.

February: People are very curious about sex.
And are not embarrassed to talk about it. On this very blog, we discussed the advantages of mint-flavored condoms and giving blow-jobs after having crunched an altoid.

March: Love knows no boundaries.
Again, proven by my husband. Who jumped on a plane and moved to mother-fuckin’ Bulgaria. Just to be with me. What can I say, I’m lucky.

April: It takes a village.
Like Hillary says, it takes a village to raise a child. In other words, to achieve great success, you need to learn to ask for help and rely on those around you. Said lesson was put into to practice as soon as we started applying for Kyle’s Bulgarian residence permit. I blogged about it and as a result have made a great number of friends who, to quote my favorite Tyra Banks, are still in the running towards becoming Bulgarian residents.

May: If you believe in what you do, other people will believe in what you do. And vice versa.
In May, a couple of lovely people from Orbitel contacted us with a job. It was about something that neither myself nor the professor had done before. But we thought, heck, if they think we can do it, we can probably do it. Which we did. And we have been working together ever since. Sometimes all you need is a person to believe in you. In our case, we had an entire department.

June: When moving, don’t move to a better apartment. Move to a good apartment.
Which we learned the hard way, naturally. There were things about our previous apartment that we hated. So we decided to look for a new one. We found one and thought, Oh, wow! It’s so much better than the old one! and we signed the lease without thinking twice. Needless to say, as soon as we moved in, we realized it was definitely a better apartment than the old one. But also noticed that it was not a good apartment by any stretch of the imagination.

July: You don’t need a wedding planner to plan a wedding.
You need a bride. A groom. And wordpress.

August: Your wedding is probably not the best day of your life.
But sure as hell, it is tuns of fun.

September: Life is what happens when your plans fall through.
We had very ambitious honeymoon plans. We planned to pull a Johnny Cash and by the end of it be able to say, I’ve been everywhere, man! Instead, we ended up being stuck in Philly and having a blast.

October: Just do it.
My friend Bogdana felt like she couldn’t find a good women’s magazine to read. So she started her own.

November: Take control of your finances.
Which is a lesson I have taken to heart and have made significant progress on. The first step was to decide I want to do it. The second: to start tracking my expenses. My next step: put together a budget. I’ll keep you posted how things go…but so far…it’s been illuminating.

December: When in Rome…(do as the Romans do)
On December 6, my husband celebrated his first Bulgarian name-day ever. He did not eat fish, as he is vegetarian, but he made sure enough rakia was consumed.

Celebrity babies

noreply@blogger.com (petya) — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 13:07:00 +0000

So...hmmm...today I learned that Jennifer Lopez just gave birth to a boy and a girl. And then I read that Jessica Alba is pregnant with twins. And then I found myself trying to conduct a mental count of all celebrities with twins: P'Diddy, Julia Roberts, Marcia Cross...And now I'm just left sitting at my desk all confused and wondering...

...is this normal?!

Roman Holiday

noreply@blogger.com (petya) — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 00:24:00 +0000

It really was just lovely.

P.S. My molto picolla bag made it back home safely. Thank you for your concern.

Flying low-cost

noreply@blogger.com (petya) — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 22:33:00 +0000

On our way back from Italy, Prof. Grady suggested that I do not check my bag but I wouldn't listen. When I got to the check-in counter, the guy at the desk insisted that my bag was really molto picolla and I should just take it with me on board but I wouldn't listen. When we arrived in Sofia, the bag was not there. Guh-reat.

The bag didn't come on Sunday. It wasn't here Monday. I waited for it all day today (Tuesday). It didn't arrive.

So, I called the airport:

Me: Bongiorno. I am still missing a molto picolla bag that was supposed to land in Sofia with me on Sunday. It's Tuesday and I don't have it and was wonde...
Sofia Airport Rep: Your reference number?
Me: t27970w
Sofia Airport Rep: Your bag has been here since Sunday evening.
Me: Oh!
Sofia Airport Rep: How come?
Me: Oh!
Sofia Airport Rep: Your bag should have been delivered on Sunday evening.
Me: Oh...well...hmmmm
Sofia Airport Rep: Why has your bag not been delivered until now?!
Me: Sir, I mean...Hmmmppf
Sofia Airport Rep: Well, hopefully you'll have it delivered tomorrow. If you don't have it tomorrow, call us again.
Me: ....

There's a fine line between independence and stubbornness. Listen to whatever advice people try to give you. Sometimes, they might just be right.

K-G Travel Notes

noreply@blogger.com (petya) — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 20:32:00 +0000

When we travel, I admit it, Kyle does most of the planning. And by most, I really just mean all. I kind of just...you know...plan to attend. I let him pick hotels and come up with itenararies because I just know he's going to take me on the most amazing adventure ever. He always does.

When we decided to go to Rome I said no, it's not fair. I will help with the plans too. So in order to prepare, I downloaded a documentary series on Roman history, read bits and pieces about Roma in our travel guidebook and actually bothered to learn how to say good morning in Italian.

Rome was breath-taking.

And inspiring. And joyful. And friendly. And educational. And relaxing. And so fucking romantic. And so nostalgic at times. And home to the best coffee my lips have ever come in contact with. For real!

I am not sure if it was the city, the wine, or my husband's kisses...but I felt like I could have stayed forever...Which, of course, I couldn't do. But one thing is for sure...the K-G's are definitely going back.

Pictures will follow.

Yea team

noreply@blogger.com (petya) — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 11:59:00 +0000

Our boss was on the Bulgarian version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire and we put together a team of Netagers to help him out in the competition.

We practiced for a while last night. He would call and pretend to be the show hosts and then pretend to be himself under pressure and then ask us questions and then we would try to find the answer online. We split up in groups. At each computer station we positioned two people: one to do the actual searching and one to help them browse through search results. We pushed the desks together and cranked up the volume on the speaker phone and appointed a timer. We came up with search strategies, which I am not giving away. We then agreed to meet up at 9AM and be ready to take calls from the show.

At around 10 AM this morning we got the call. We were asked a 100,000 leva question: Which actor collaborated with Oasis on their Be There Now video? We found the correct answer in just under 10 seconds. It was Johnny Depp. Everyone was screaming with excitement and I thought the roof was going to fall in on us. Too bad that Boss had already made a mistake on the question and they were only calling to see if our “brain-trust” would work. Of course it would.

...

Who cares about winning massive amounts of money on a silly TV show when you can have so much fun losing it with the full support of your own firm?! Yea team.

You asked: Part 7

noreply@blogger.com (petya) — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 14:23:00 +0000

Question: Where the hell have you been?!

Well, thank you all for asking. I’ve missed you too. Here’s what happened: I started a feminist blog in Bulgarian. And all hell broke loose.

I dared to suggest, among other things, that:
- even though men and women might be equal in the face of the law, there are still actual inequalities that take the form of gender stereotypes and prejudices that need to be addressed
- sexist and racist jokes are not funny
- female managers face different sorts of expectations from their employees than male managers and backed that up with a scientific study

Radical and revolutionary, no?

The blog got TONS of attention and for the most part, it’s been a good experience. I find it refreshing to have my core values challenged…like…when I needed to explain why I don’t think a woman can only feel fulfilled when she has a husband and a child. Or when I had to figure out the polite way to say FUCK OFF to people who believe that women are almost inevitably worse managers than men. I feel like I’m back in my Intro to Gender Studies class way back when…only that I am the one doing the explaining.

I find Bulgarian attitudes toward feminism totally fascinating. Back in the 40s, communists declared us all equal and thus considered the “women issue” resolved. Women could work and prosper together with men. They opened state-run childcare centers, paid for extended maternity leave and encouraged women to pursue traditionally male occupations. Somewhere along the way, however, something seems to have not quite clicked. Because, from what I see now, women here don’t think highly of themselves and men…ah men. I would really hope that you guys would help me figure this out…

But…what do you know…I plan to persevere. I emailed my political theory professor from grad school, the virtual equivalent of throwing my hands up in desperation, and she said to me, Yes! Sometimes what seems hopeless (and endless) is what most needs doing!

Thank you all for sticking around.

Recognition

noreply@blogger.com (petya) — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 12:07:00 +0000

via Gawker

Good things recently

noreply@blogger.com (petya) — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 18:11:00 +0000

1. A long conversations with Prof. Grady about the differences between European and American party-dancing. Most Americans are like loose cannons on the dancefloors. You can never be sure what to expect from them, ironic dancing is a given. Europeans play it cool. Or so they think.

2. Getting an awesome response to Openly Feminist! Blogging in Bulgarian will be harder...a lot more people leave comments...Not that I'm complaining.

3. Meeting all the Amica bloggers in person.

4. Watching BBC documentaries about the Roman Empire in preparation for our trip to Italy in a couple of weeks. We are dorks and we're proud.

5. XOXO, Gossip Girl

What kinds of good things have been happening in your lives recently?

Openly Feminist

noreply@blogger.com (petya) — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 23:13:00 +0000

By the way, I started a new blog titled Openly Feminist.

I am doing it in Bulgarian and write about dumb tv shows, articles I read and various things that grab my attention through a feminist perspective. I felt that I needed to do it because, in my humble opinion, many Bulgarians are very much feminist in their world-views and at the same time are TERRIFIED of being perceived as feminist. I figured that if I came out...maybe others would do too. I worry that I will be ridiculed (like I am most of the times when I do speak up against sexist remarks/jokes/practies and so on). But at the same time I am willing to take my chances. Who knows, maybe I will be surprised.

I will try to publish Enlgish versions of my posts here and vice versa. Wish me luck.

Cashmere Mafia...again

noreply@blogger.com (petya) — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 22:32:00 +0000

I just saw my first Cashmere Mafia episode. And, unlike last time, I will be bashing the show after having actually seen it! For those of you who don't know about it yet, Cashmere Mafia is supposed to be a follow-up to Sex and the City of sorts. The show is about four girlfriends living in New York City and holding very high positions in some major companies.

Now, I know it's a bit too soon to be making overarching generalizations after having seen just one episode, but I will say it anyway: the show is terribly superficial and extremely predictable. If you've seen Sex and the City, Desparate Housewives and/or Gossip Girl, you would not be able to be surprised in any way. The authors seemed to be so influenced by the above-mentioned shows that at some points in the episode you kind of start wondering why Carrie Bradshow's voice sounds different. Also, everyone is like...obsessed with this Gawker-type blog...All I've got to say about that is: XO-XO. Whatever, though. We all like watching movies and tv shows that are pretty much identical copies of other things we've seen before...so no hard feelings there.

What did scare me though was the blatant sexism in the way the main characters are portrayed. OK. So they are all supposed to be these super serious, educated, insanely successful professional women and, still, they are:

1. Immature: One of the women's husbands is cheating on her. Her friends sees him making out with another woman and tells her. What does she do?! She decides that the best thing to do is get even and cheat on HIM. Well...not that I know much about script-writing but I'm thinking...isn't this what the character would do in some other show?! I mean...if she really WAS the character that she is supposed to be, she would not be acting like a snotty high-school student who wants to win over her boyfriend by making him jealous. Or...would she?!

2. Superficial: Throughout most of the episode, one of the women is worrying like crazy about ONE zit that she got on her otherwise flawless face. At some point she even considers leaving the office and going home. WTF?!

3. Pathetic: Mia, played by Lucy Liu, has been left at the alter by her fiance. We are led to believe that he had been feeling threatened by her success. After the split, they stop talking. Mia's reaction: she does not tell her parents about it for two weeks AND dedicates her first column as editor-in-chief of Modern Man magazine to telling him (The Modern Man) that he should not be afraid of the Modern Woman. Jack and I, she says, we will need to begin communicating through the pages of the magazine. I say: Apparently Modern Woman over there is stuck in the Victorian era and her shyness does not allow her to face her problems and look for their adequate solutions.

In other words, the moral of the series is simple: don't worry about it, dudes, even if some women do manage to make if very high up in the corporate hierarchy, they are just as dumb and idiotique as the rest of them. Yes, they are in the BIG office but their existance there is only nominal, because apparently they cannot get over their personal dramas and act like grown-ups.

I am so terribly sad and disappointed.

Six years ago

noreply@blogger.com (petya) — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 23:22:00 +0000

Six years ago today I created a little html-file in Dreamweaver and sent a hopeful, somewhat desparate message out to the world. I naively thought that I had things to say and that there were people who would be willing to listen.

Today I send a special shout-out to Var for sending me my first ever reader email. He wrote me a note...not too long after I had first started blogging to tell me that he found me and that he liked my site and that he was Bulgarian too. I don't remember much else. But I definitely remember feeling like a million bucks (in euro). Who would have thought, though, that 6 years later, we would be kicking each other under the table every day. His cubicle is right next to mine and I've got reeeeeeally long legs.

Seriously, though, thank you. Thank you all for listening. Thank you for sticking around. But most of all, thank you for talking back.

It's been a riot!

Professional Experience

noreply@blogger.com (petya) — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 11:23:00 +0000

A couple of co-workers and I were just talking about jobs and professional dress-codes and the kinds of things that one should keep in mind when applying/looking for a job. The general agreement was that one needs to do quite a bit of soul-searching before ever bothering to even send in a resume. One of the guys said that he could never work at a place where he would be required to wear a suit every day. I know it sounds superficial, he said, but I know myself. I would not feel comfortable, I would fidget all day, and would not be able to get anything done.

The conversation reminded me of my old friend Bill, who had a line in the PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE section of his resume, which said he used to be a Gravedigger (an actual job he held for one summer while still in college). He said that interviewers always asked him about that. And if they didn’t or if they didn’t find that hilarious, he just knew he was not interested in working for them. See, a sense of humor was something that he really appreciated in a potential employer and he knew that he would never be able to work for someone who took themselves too seriously.

It is that very same thing that I appreciate in my job. People here work, argue, bang on tables…but they are also very laid-back and love to have fun.

I don’t think I could work for an employer if they:

- Discouraged people from having Moonwalking contests in the office
- Frowned upon impromptu fashion shoots
- Demanded that everyone should keep their shoes on at all times
- And the list goes on.

I bet you already see where this is going but I will ask anyway: What are your personal (weird) employer requirements? What would make you not take a job?

***

All photos by Dragon, aka Official Department Photographer. Keep clicking.

WOW! Where are you from?!

noreply@blogger.com (petya) — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 11:58:00 +0000

Kyle’s stepdad’s sister went to Paris a couple of years ago. She knows French but had a terrible experience speaking French while in France. She would always try and people would not be able to understand and then everyone would get frustrated. Sometimes people would switch to English, sometimes they would simply ignore her. I am particularly sympathetic to that last bit, because I had a terrible experience during my 24-hour stint in Paris back in September. When I was there, I was in several situations where people had an opportunity to decide whether to be nice or rude to me and ALL of them chose the latter. Anyway.

So, on her last day in Paris, Tom’s sister is sitting in a cafe, sipping some wine when she strikes up a conversation with another woman sitting at the table right next to her. They talk about Paris, the weather, life. They are totally hitting it off. She’s super excited because FINALLY she is able to speak French AND be understood. WOW, she says to the other woman, It was so great to talk to you!!! Where are you from?! The woman takes a sip of her coffee and answers:

Kansas City.

Start worrying

noreply@blogger.com (petya) — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 09:10:00 +0000

In an article I read over the weekend, the author was trying to make sense of her pessimism. Why, she wondered, her glass was always half-empty.

Among other things, she thought that it had something to do with the fact that she came from a family of East European Jews who immigrated to the United States after escaping from a Nazi concentration camp in Poland. They were never able to quite shake off the experience (not that one can blame them). They were always prepared for the worst, always ready for live the screw things up for them just any minute now. Rather than trying to get rid of their worries, however, they embraced them. And turned pessimism into a life-credo. Her family’s favorite joke:

Jewish Telegram:
Start worrying. Details to follow.

Have a great week y’all.